All This Conflict is Stressful
Dear Jesse and Melva,
I’ve been reading your “BeAttitudes” and wonder how they apply to the stress of intense conflict. We, like many couples, argue way too much.
How can two people who love each other cause so much agony for each other? Well, I think my wife still loves me. However, as I type this question to you, I wonder about that because she’s often so angry.
I’d love to have your advice.
Wanting More in Kansas City, MO
Dear Tired of Arguing,
Thank you for your question. You have inspired us to write a series of articles on this answering your question, based on our ebook, "How to Argue Less and Communicate More."
It is refreshing that your question is focused on what YOU can do, and not just on what your wife is doing. Here's what we mean: it is good to know that you want to know how to take action toward inviting a solution to what you and your wife are dealing with. You are taking responsibility for your role in helping to create and in resolving this problem.
Let’s by with sharing with you why it is important to start with focusing on what you can and cannot change based on the modified version of the “Prayer of Serenity”:
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know it's me.
Beginning within will support you to decide and stay focused on becoming more proactive in making sure your emotions, thoughts and actions match (or, are in alignment with) effectively inviting the response you want with your wife.
What we want you to think about between now and the next article in this series is to decide if you are willing to commit to taking the steps we will be introducing to you over these several weeks that will support you to show up more effectively to argue less and communicate more.
In the meantime, we invite you to join our FREE private Facebook group for more tips to support you.
To your relationship success,
Jesse and Melva
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