Tip for Success in Love, Marriage, and Life: Integrity

Tip for Success in Love, Marriage, and Life: 

People of integrity and honesty not only practice what they preach, they are what they preach.” – David A. Bednar

Integrity — Divorce — engin-akyurt-Jw5Kth70hQo-unsplash

Ivan was shocked and devastated!

What do you think was the missing link/pillar in Ivan and Ida’s Story?

The 6th Pillar for Success in Love Marriage and Life:

Pink sunset couple-Harli Marten-M9jrKDXOQoU

The problem is that neither was aware that this important pillar was missing in their relationship.

When I talk about integrity in love and marriage, I am referring to “emotional integrity

Emotional integrity is when what a person is feeling and experiencing on the inside matches what they express to another person.

Integrity — unmasks john-noonan-QM_LE41VJJ4-unsplash

It is similar to emotional intimacy in getting to know each other in a deeper way, heart-to-heart, and without the masks

The mismatch, 

For Ida, she communicated to Ivan that she understood his need for personal time with activity, but she did not communicate how lonely she felt and how much she needed to have one-on-one time with Ivan.  That’s why he thought what he was doing was ok and couldn’t understand why she complained

Ivan didn’t want a divorce.  He said he would do anything to make things right. He said he knew he had a lot to learn.  

“I have a coach at work, maybe we can get one for our marriage.”

“I’d rather do that than counseling because I want us to do like we do at work, have a step-by-step program to help us to follow to turn things around.”

Ida was touched that not only did Ivan initiate action he was very specific about what he would like that action to look like.

Decide — brett-jordan-TMj1c5wlO3k-unsplash

So, Ivan and Ida decided to get help.  They did love each other and wanted their marriage to work.  They were clear that they wanted to spend their golden years together. And they were committed to do what it took to do what they needed to do to make things work.

They were in integrity with their decision and commitment because they followed the program step-by-step. 

One additional benefit for them as they met other like-minded couples who were also dedicated to strengthen the “7 Pillars of Success in their Marriage and Love Relationship.”

None of the couples disclosed the personal issues they were addressing, just what it was like to develop new habits like being more present, listening more deeply, managing emotions, etc.

The couple became a mutual support group.

It is now year 31 in their marriage. Both Ivan and Ida have reported to their group that they are happier than ever.

Bridge over troubled woods-Adam Bixby-Jun-9Pzw8Zw

They have bridged the gap from where they were when Ida filed for divorce to feeling solid as a couple with the foundation of their marriage stronger than ever.

Ivan discovered that he was not accustomed to having the depth of love that Ida expressed to him. He discovered how to take it in and appreciate it.  No more broken promises

Ida discovered that she needed to give Ivan more information about what she needed and how without giving mixed messages.

How About You?

Simone Secci Avatar of user Simone Secci Simone Secci @simonesecci

    • What is it like for you when your mate doesn’t open up to you?
    • How difficult is it for you to open up to your spouse or mate when they don’t listen to you?
    • On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with the level of emotional integrity in your relationship?
    • What happens when you talk about it?
    • What will your relationship look like and feel like if there was more emotional integrity?
    • “Know that emotional integrity goes both ways.

    Before Ivan and Ida enrolled in their group coaching program they signed up for the “3-Day Detox Communication Challenge”, to prepare them to be successful in that program.


The First Step to Stop Arguing and Start Communicating

Registration is FREE!

That “3-Day Challenge” will be available for you. 

More information next time.

To Your Success in Love, Marriage, and Life

Melva Johnson