Ask Jesse and Melva – December 31, 2019

Dear Melva and Jesse,

This is a follow up to my previous letter about the holidays.  Thank you so much for your advice from last week. Christmas was wonderful.  I am still feeling warm and happy about the great time we had as a family.

After everyone went home, I gave myself some reflection time to do as you recommended - to look deep within to uncover what would bring me fulfillment, happiness, joy and a feeling of accomplishment and begin to pursue it.

Well, I began this process by taking a hard look at where I am in this area of my life.  To be honest, I must say that on a scale of 1-10 I would say that maybe I am about a 5.  This is because I am happy with with my husband, children and extended family.  They mean the world to me and giving is not problem. I feel joy in giving to them what will make them happy.

Thank you for reminding me about how much joy I have in volunteering.

As for my job, it’s not very fulfilling.  As I think about going in to the new year, I am unsettled thinking about not feeling fulfilled in that area for the next year or beyond.

Now that I know where I am, what do you recommend for my next steps.

Regards,

Still Feeling Funky on New Year’s Eve About Another Issue

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Dear Still Feeling Funky on New Year’s Eve About Another Issue,

Here are a couple of our suggestions and we’re inviting our readers to offer additional ones. It is good to know that our recommendations were helpful.  And, thank you for following through with deep inner reflection. 

We think three questions to ask yourself will be helpful:

1. How do you want your total life to be? It’s okay to include what’s already working while you think through how you want your career to be.
2. We noticed that you did not mention self.  It is clear to us that taking care of your family as well as volunteering is very much a part of who you are.  How about taking care of you?  What are some things that you can do for you that will provide personal, emotional and spiritual fulfillment on a daily basis?
3. Who can you invite to support you when needed? You don’t have to do everything on your own – even when you know how and are good at it.

Let us know how it goes.  Please keep us updated.  We’d love to hear how this works out for you.

To your relationship success,

Jesse and Melva

PS. Stay tuned for our “Holiday Survival Guide for Couples”!